Just Balance with Brittany: Love and Marriage Edition
Hi Triple B's (balance blog buddies)-
Thank you so much for reading today's blog on my site! Today is my first co-authored blog post. My special guest today is none other than my amazing husband, Chad. We have been married for five years (almost six in October) and I thought it would be really dope to have him co-author the blog with me (with a small twist). Happy reading Triple B's........
So did anybody think that marriage was going to be like roses and sunshine, and heart shaped valentine's candy or something, because I would say that is really what I thought that marriage was going to be. I am also by no means taking away from the fact that I love my husband and couldn't imagine doing life and love with anybody else. We have a wonderful marriage; I really "like" him which I think is so important. I can honestly say that Chad is one of my best friends and so it makes marriage easy, easier, but that's not to say that marriage isn't hard or for the faint of heart.
Growing up I was really able to see such a strong, loving, and stable marriage between my parents- really even thinking about the way that they interacted with each other and I had such admiration for them and admiration for their relationship that it made me think "wow, this is what marriage is supposed to be like". It was really cool to see the ebbs and flows of my parents' marriage, but more realistically the way that they have always been team each other. And the ways that they have always shown up for each other, even now being married for 36 years the way that they still look at each other is sickening, but also beautiful especially now since I myself am married. I have so much appreciation for what I was exposed to within my parents marriage.
The flip side of that is that we didn't see them fight, argue, or disagree a whole lot. We grew up in an era where children did not mind grown folks' business and were not exposed to the inner workings of it. Now, I am able to see some of those things (due to age and my own marriage) specifically in a way that I just wasn't able to understand growing up. It actually gives me comfort that relationships aren't perfect and shouldn't be. Y'all, there was freedom in being let off the hook knowing that this relationship would not be perfect; there was also freedom in knowing that thriving relationships are attainable, but will look different from couple to couple.
Marriage has nonetheless been SUPER dope for me. I couldn't have a better partner to do life, love, and family with. With that, I also know that marriage is really hard. I am extremely independent, overly vocal, really strong willed- like mind made up about most things already. Being married for me personally has been about this balance that we have continued to create as we have gone through different phases in our marriage. Our first year of marriage was amazing, in my mind I was like "oh we have arrived". It was the parallel to what I had seen in my parents' marriage, and then you know life happens. Things happen, people change, they grow up, and they evolve. As people change for the better, it has been really cool for Chad and I to recognize the fact that we are different and growing, but that we are always changing and growing together. We were always destined to be right here, in this place, at this time and that keeps us so grounded. Knowing that this is exactly where we should be, with each other, helps us to balance within our marriage, our parenthood, our families, our extended families, our careers, and all the things that come up everyday. There has been intentionality around creating balance for ourselves and our little family because at the end of the day, "we all we got".
It's also so important for us to understand that balance shifts and when you realize that its' moving, you've got to "check that". I love to talk and will talk your ear off (ask my Mommy, she's honest), and so Chad knows that if I'm feeling a disconnect or a loss of balance that he needs to be ready to talk about it (pray for my husband friends). I don't like things unsaid, undone, or lingering, especially in my marriage. I am so grateful for the balance that Chad creates even for me as a person because we have pretty opposite personalities. He is open to having the hard conversations with me and allowing for us to think through what are the next steps and the things that we need in this stage of life and marriage to help us continue to create balance.
So for the rest of today's post, I thought it would be cool to have none other than my boo thang with me to have a conversation about how we create balance in our marriage.
Listen here for Just Balance with Brittany: Love and Marriage Edition with my special co-author/host/conversation partner, Chad Cora.
As always, words are what I have for you-