Just Balance with Brittany: Mommy and Me Edition Part II
Hi there Triple B's (balance blog buddies)-
~If you would rather listen to today's blog post, click on the link here. Otherwise, just keep scrolling.~
It's the way that I missed being able to release a blog for last week- I was so excited about continuing the Mommy and Me Part II blog and talking about my Cayleigh bug, but also the balancing act of two kiddos. The reality is that last week went nothing like I planned. You know that happens sometimes- even the best plans get messed up. HONESTLY, THIS WEEK WAS REALLY HARD. I've been by myself, sick (like sick, not COVID sick though)- the main parts of my village were out of town, so I was literally a team of ONE. Talk about balance in real time. But, this week, I realized, "I am stronger than I think". So let's just get into it.......
When I found out that I was pregnant with Cayleigh, the amount of tears I cried was utterly ridiculous (like, cry me a river kinda tears). I was just starting to get myself together with a husband and one baby- what the hell was I going to do with another one. Very shortly after having a long talk with my best friend Patrice where she told me "to get myself together" and "girl, you can do this" and "it's going to be hard, but it's going to be okay", I started to experience a very familiar feeling and knew that I was threatening a miscarriage with my second baby. All of the feelings and anxiety that I had were immediately put on pause because I knew that something unimaginable had the potential to be happening AGAIN. My husband was deep in month end and was trying to juggle work and all of the emotions that I was also dealing with. "Simply put," he said, "we'll bounce back".
Y'all, when I got to that doctor, I found out that I was still pregnant and that there were was a likelihood that I was having multiples (what would I have done with three babies). As the days past, I came to grips with the fact that I while I was losing a baby, there was another baby holding on for dear life- my Cayleigh has always been a fighter, but she's also sweet, sassy, saucy, and so smart.
I have had amazing loves in my life, my husband being the absolute best love that I have ever experienced, but when Carter got here, I literally could see my heart in human form. I was so worried about figuring out how I could share that love with another baby. It didn't take long for me to realize that God gives us exactly what we need when we need it. My heart is always so full with my children. Do they test me: YES! Do they run me low: YES! Do they make my heart smile: YES! Balance with two children means being intentional about creating what you need for yourself and for your family so that everybody thrives.
This week, balance took on a new form and I'm positive that the scales weren't even- they were definitely tilted all the way to the left. After Chad's birthday, he quickly left me with two kiddos while he did work things in Boston. We have become acquainted with his monthly absence and week out of town. As Carter says, "Daddy is at the hotel in Boston". This week however, was different. When my collarbone started to throb, my fever escalated quickly, at 99 degrees in the Mississippi heat with chills, I knew that this week's lesson in balance would be one for the books. While at my lowest, my babies still needed me to show up. Through all the pain and all the tears, my babies still needed me to show up. Balance this week meant that I had to take everything that I had and thrust it into making sure that my kids were okay. As Moms, we are strong, we are tough, and we are resilient. All I cared about was making sure that between the hours of four and seven thirty that my kids were fed, cared for, seen, heard, and valued. The truth about my balance journey this week, was that there was ABSOLUTELY NO BALANCE. Here I am curating a whole blog about balance, and I literally have not ONE SHRED of it this week.
Honestly, I've learned that's the beauty of this balance journey. It's not about having the balance 100% of the time, but it's about being aware when the scales are tipped one way or the other. With that being said, this week, I'm hitting reset. Balance will occur in one form or another.
10 Ways that I have learned to balance on my motherhood journey:
Dates with my husband
Family days at our home (we moved for anybody who didn't know that)
Binge watching shows after putting the kids down
Lunch with friends (get ya'll some friends that are down for you)
Working ( I love my job, like I really love what I do)
FaceTime with friends and family
Thursday night Zoom calls with my extended family (Thursday night crew stand up)
Music, music, music
Writing a blog :-)
What does balance look like for you in your parenthood journey? I had found that the best way for me to be unapologetically whole is to continue to figure out what makes me whole and realizing when an important piece is missing.
"I've found my balance. I'm not losing myself in motherhood......I'm redefining myself. I may not be exactly who I used to be, but that's ok. I've grown and become a better version of myself" -Knoxville moms blog.
I'm not proclaiming that I have found my balance, but I am continuing to redefine myself, what's important, and how to balance it all.
As always, words are what I have for you,